I did my best to go through the concept of consent with a fine-tooth comb. I’m concerned I missed some concepts, and feel free to add them in the comments. Consent isn’t something I fuck around with.
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A few beginning notes: This album is male-oriented. Because so many people shrug off male-sexual assault, I did my best to HEAVILY represent men in situations of consent.
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You may notice a lot of the characters look different. I do my best to give equal representation of all demographics, because representation matters.
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What’s with the blue-haired characters? Those are enbies, or “non-binary.” Their shirt color is the trans-flag – though I realized I forgot the blue stripe.
I feel like this acrostic could use a few improvements. It’s the best I have, atm.
Mother Nature designed we humans to carry on our species. This is actually why sex feels pleasurable – it gives us more incentive to have it, which in turn ensures the survival of homosapiens. However, we are homosapiens, and therefore, civilized. There’s no need to behave like fucking animals.
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Whatever your body does during a sexual assault does not change the fact that it’s a sexual assault. Consensual sex is only consensual sex if you’ve given consent, okay? Don’t let some biologically illiterate idiot tell you otherwise.
Consequence-Coercion is when an assailant sets up consequences for declining, that outweigh the consequences of the unwanted sex. This often involves physical coercion, or extortion/blackmail. But it can also involve emotional threats.
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One of the most disturbing things I encountered was a relationship between a dangerous sociopath, and a borderline personality.
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He would constantly coerce her into sex by threatening to leave her for someone who “would actually satisfy his needs.” BPD is defined by a crippling fear of abandonment – it involves frantic efforts to avoid real or perceived abandonment. It was sexual assault. He was using her worst fears as a weapon against her.
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This is why I included emotional threats. They can be more devastating weapons than people realize- and it is NOT okay.
It is not right for a person to use substances to force your “no” to become a “yes.” In this case, this lovely girl does the right thing. Call me, or our sister. I’ll come get you, and I won’t scold you. I want you safe.
Sometimes sex involves alcohol or marijuana, especially at parties. This is okay, as long as consent has been laid out before intoxication begins. I don’t want you to be scared of parties. Crazy things can happen, and they can be fun.
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I just also want you to recognize and understand that there is a point where you are not sober enough to consent, and anyone taking advantage of that is a rapist.
Normally I do three examples, but I couldn’t fit them. I want to talk about that bottom example especially…high school can get toxic with that. Virginity was seen as shameful to have, because high school kids are fucking stupid – no offense. Virginity is soooo prized and commodified, and this is all a farce.
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Don’t have sex till you’re 16 AT LEAST, because that’s the age of consent. But don’t try to suddenly lose it because you want to be one of the “in-crowd.” High school is fleeting. It’s four long years to you, but I still sometimes feel like high school was two years ago for me, when it’s actually been six. The social dynamics of high school fade, but your first time will probably be a forever memory.
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Don’t waste such a special thing over something as trivial as teenage popularity, and don’t let some asshole manipulate you into thinking you HAVE to lose it fast.
In this situation, the guy is tied up, and he’s become overwhelmed – or decided he wants to stop. He says the safe word. His partner stops all activity immediately.
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They are soft and reassuring with their actions, and pull out a pair of scissors. Sometimes, a partner can wait long enough to undo the knots – especially if they’re simple ones. Other times, the partner needs to be cut down NOW, and that’s why they have a pair of scissors in their hand.
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If you get into bondage, ALWAYS HAVE SCISSORS. If your partner says they don’t need scissors, RUN.
Sex should never be a debt, an obligation, or something you feel like you owe someone. Period.
This was a serious problem in the LBGTQ+ community. Partners with HIV/AIDS would knowingly have unprotected sex with their partners, but omit that detail when doing so. THIS IS RAPE.
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STEALTHING:
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Stealthing is when a male subtly slips the condom off during sex, without telling their partner. It can happen with men as well, if you find you fancy boys. Stealthing is rape. Period. You only consented to sex with a condom. When the condom secretly comes off – it’s rape.
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TO BE CLEAR: This is when a person DELIBERATELY slips off the condom knowing that their partner would want it on.
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Sometimes condoms break. I’ve never heard of one “slipping,” but I’m not a guy and have no experience with that. If it happens through no fault of your own, it’s just an accident. It’s not a rape. It’s no different than when the condom breaks. It doesn’t mean you poked holes in them, it was just an accident.
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And on a similar note, if anyone gets pushy about having unprotected sex, leave. They are not safe people to be intimate with.
If I ever fucking find out that a girlfriend of yours told you she was on the pill when she wasn’t… it will end very poorly for everyone involved. It is a monstrous act that INCENSES me every time I think about it.
Enjoy sex. It’s a fun activity. Even if you feel silly about a kink, find a community that likes it too. Explore your preferences and sexuality. But don’t have actual sex until you’re sixteen, please.
I love you. I want you safe, happy, and healthy. And on the when you’re old enough for that sort of thing… you should probably consult the parents. They’re the ones that make the rules.
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You just legally cannot consent until you’re 16.